The Boodle Blog

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1 February

What's love got to do with it?

It’s the month of romantic love, and we all think we know what love is.

But it’s important to know what love is NOT:

1. Love isn’t therapy.

It’s not your partner’s job to fix you… or yours to fix them. If your partner is an emotional wreck, are you always going to be willing to be in the role of caretaker or therapist? If you’re the wreck, get some help.

2. Love isn’t manipulative.

If your partner consistently uses guilt or anger tactics to get their way, pay attention. Someone who manipulates you and your emotions for their own benefit is better off as an ex. And make sure you’re not the one doing the manipulating either.

3. Love isn’t angry.

Sometimes you’ll feel like pouring a bucket of ice water over your partner’s head. But being angry at your partner — or them being angry at you — on a regular, ongoing basis is just not the way you’re meant to live.

4. Love isn’t a power struggle.

If you’re constantly negotiating like attorneys on every issue, you’re in for a difficult life. Healthy relationships are win some/lose some. If you’re always winning or always giving in to your partner’s wishes, beware.

5. Love isn’t perfect.

Even your perfect mate will hurt you. And you’ll hurt them. Hopefully not in ways that are irreparable. If they really are the one for you, make room for their mistakes and quirks — and expect them to do the same for you.